operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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