she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
