she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
