have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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