He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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