It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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