I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
