I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
