saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
