lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
