WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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