i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
