she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
