he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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