Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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