Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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