when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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