I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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