You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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