all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
His nipple licking is glorious
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