If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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