I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize