Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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