I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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