is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
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Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
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Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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