That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
