I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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