HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
do herpes really smell.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
