No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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