when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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