Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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