Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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