Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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