Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize