Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
