Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
