At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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