I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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