No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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