at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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