I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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