Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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