No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
