In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
