did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about