i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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