they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
