I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
True college students do jello shots in the library
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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