I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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