i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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