I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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