Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
