just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
